Dear Boy,

Boy,
I do not know who you are, or when and where we will meet, but I hope it will be soon.

I hope that when we meet and fall in love, you will love me for being me and not hope for someone who is thinner or prettier. I hope you won’t compare me to those girls who may have brighter smiles than I and hoping for you to make me smile and be my source of laughter. I hope you will take care of me when I get sick and be trustworthy. If I have a bad day please shower me with confidence and smiles.

I hope that you will never get tired waiting for a nice jeep every time you send me home and that you will always remember that I am a little bit picky in choosing jeep. I hope you will remember that I prefer roses and that I love colour violet. Please know that I love eating and you may be spending lots of money for take-out or dine-in meals. I hope you understand that I find it sweet when you will be the one cooking dinner for me with a lovely table setting and a rose in the middle.

I hope that you will not get mad at me when I asked you where you are or have you eaten and not think of it that I don’t have trust in you; I always will. Please know that it makes me feel complete when I hear you saying the three words I always wanted for you to say; “I LOVE YOU” and that I will never fail to answer you “I LOVE YOU TOO”.

Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first but please do not be afraid to kiss me. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be kissed; I know your kisses will be perfect. When we go on a date please don’t stress about where to take me; what’s important is that I will be with you.

If I cry, please don’t think that it’s because of you, just hold me close and I’ll heal quickly. And, if it’s because of you I’ll heal just the same. And if I say we break up, please understand that I may be bitter but I’d like to be your friend if you’ll let me.

Please tell me if anything I do bothers you or if something doesn’t seem right. I want you to be honest with me.

I hope you will not think that I am asking for too much. Please understand that I am a little bit nervous and very scared. I wish could tell you how or when we will meet and if we will be in love forever. Every relationship is a game of cards and I have never been lucky at cards. But I will do my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much from you.

I hope that when this time comes, we will pray that it will last for a lifetime and not just for a small span of time. Please take good care of yourself as we wait for each other.

running changes things

Running is beyond my limits. I never thought that someday I will be joining numbers of athletic people in a run. I never thought that it would become one of my habits. I never thought that I can find happiness as I step out with my running shoes and I never thought that in this little way I can help less fortunate people.

I still remember the very first run I joined, excitement flows over my fresh veins. I even bought new pair of ukay2 shoes paired with a signature socks. It was one good event to remember even though I feel very worn-out after. And now I just find myself joining another one.

3 idiots

Don’t quit but stay on to your passions however tough the path might be. Whenever you are faced with problems console yourself by saying that ‘All is Well’.

My friends keep on telling me to watch this movie because it was a very good bollywood movie. I don’t have this feeling of urgency to watch because I don’t like the lead characters. But when I got the time and perfect timing to watch it, there’s only one thing I can say, two thumps up for 3 idiots.

It made me cry, gosh, my friends are right. I really need to watch it before making a judgement. It’s telling us to pursue what makes us happy. We went to school for the joy of learning and not for pressure. No degree meant no plum job and don’t care if you are first or last as long as you are happy, then success will follow...

*****thumbs up to the movie 3 idiots..a must seen movie..

Somehow...

Do I really need to have someone right now? Is it really a need or just what I wanted? I’ve been trying to figure things out. What do I really need in my life now? I have this wonderful life now. I don’t need to waste time thinking of any school projects. I have already a job which supports only me and nothing else due to some society crisis. LOL. I have friends which make me happy and in some ways makes me think that I am really special.

Somehow, things that I don’t see bother me for some stupid reasons, I don’t have it and I want to have one. I have questions that need a lifetime before it will be given an answer and answers that need questions.

a deep and sudden realization...

This time I realized something very important that I always take for granted. I know I am special in some ways people sees that I don’t see. It takes too long for me to realize these things but not too late to know that I possess such qualities.
For times now, I have been the source of jokes and a good example of a person that they love to make fun of. Sometimes, I try to take every silly thing they do (not to silly) and get a little bit annoyed.

There are also moments that I prefer to keep silent just for them to stop making fun of me. But sometimes I just love what they do and I love it now. It is because one person close to me helps me realize those things. I realize that I should never stops throwing jokes, however horrible or nonsense it may seem. For I know, me without uttering a single word makes a cheerless moment and even with a single word can make the word a nicer place to live in.

comments from my thread in facebook..

sometimes...

Sometimes, I want to feel the love of a man. In rare moments, I find myself wishing for a guy who can treat me as an equal yet love me with passion. And the passion is not sex. It’s the passion born out of love. Someone who is willing to be with me as I find myself.

Pero wala akong makitang lalaking ganoon. I have this fear that men meant for me doesn’t exist. Maybe I was afraid to be alone. What a sad life. Don’t call me pathetic. I don’t need a man. It’s just that maybe I just want to experience that little bit of happiness brought by the love of a man. But not just any man would do. I am not asking for everything. Its only the love, the passion, freely given at hindi demanded. And of course, that man must be a real man.

I want a man who understands me, na makakausap ko ng hindi ako mahihiya. Mali ba na gustuhin ko ang ganoon? God can’t seem to hear me. so, if you have accidentally read this, can you tell him for me? He should at least erase this yearning, this silly dream.

I am prepared to be alone, maybe. Living alone and dying alone doesn’t frighten me. What frighten me is leaving this world without ever feeling loved even for a moment.

Someone ask me out.....for a drink(sigh)

Someone ask me out for a drink. Half of me wanted to go. It’s also been awhile. But, I am at the abstinence stage for now. Trying hard to be a good daughter and a citizen as well.

This is my last day

This is my last day. This could be my last day. I get sad if I think of it. A while ago, I bumped into an old colleague. I’m happy to know that he already get what he wanted. It’s really true that when you want something you will really have it in the end. Eagerness is what I wanted. Well, I think so. I don’t want to try for I am afraid of taking the risk in the end.

virtual friends..

Today is another day...Well, still wished for it. I have already found some friends..virtually…hehehe…we may not be physically talking but still they made my day more enjoyable. I hope that this will be a good start. I’m afraid for if I get hired, I will be choosing a graveyard shift. And that would mean that we will still remain virtual friends..

Its not purely work after all

This is supposed to be my third day in my tryout at a certain company. It is a hot sunny Wednesday. Unfortunately, I still need to end another 2 days here. I like what I’m doing. Its not purely work after all. I can still browse over the net. I can still have time to take my merienda. But what I don’t feel is the scenario inside the workplace. No one is talking. Every one is busy holding their mouse and looking straight at their monitors. Ako pa naman yong taong ayaw tumahimik. I think I am an example of a girl na makakakita ng frend kahit saan. But it didn’t work here.
Yes, I am happy because I have been dreaming of this work. I know it defines me. I still remember when I had my first interview. Someone ask me if I don’t consider my writing skill as one of my strength. Hmmmm…It’s one of my passion. Does strength and passion make a difference? Well, I don’t know.