Last night I was thinking if I really have the skills to be a so called IT professional and if I were given a chance to be one what I can contribute. It makes me sick thinking about it. I spent four years of my life or even five years to be exact in the school to study information technology. It made me upset because until now I am still a little bit confuse if I have the chance to work as an IT professional. Every time people ask me if there is a future waiting for me after the five years of great efforts, hard workings, nose bleedings and bloody attempts to pass. I don’t know how to answer back for I am still in the process of meditating where will I go. I am still hesitant to accept the fact that destiny and reality can also take part in putting my self behind the line. I am still in the route of thinking whether I will be joining the line of competition or just give my self up. That is why if people around me keep on telling that I better stop and end this foolishness, they doesn’t realize that those words makes me more weaker and weaker. That is why since my first year in college, I am already losing my way in the track of life. That is why it makes me difficult to realize that I am already the one who keeps on putting my self down. The fact brought me on the wrong side of the law for I keep on blaming the persons evolving around me in making me lose control. But when the time comes that I already realize everything it is also the time when life seems too unfair to me.
I hate the fact that I am only getting half of the encouragement and words if wisdom I need both from my mom and dad. I can not accept the fact that even my parents are doing these things to me. They make me feel that I am the most worthless individual living in this world. They are against into the career I have chosen and maybe that is the reason why they keep on discouraging me. But I need not to be affected. I can make them proud of me. I will not let anyone stops me from achieving everything I want to be. I pity them for making me believe that there will be a difficult life waiting for me in my way to the top. But as time keep on passing, I am now become conscious to the fact that maybe my parents are right. There was a time when I feel I really need to end my foolishness.
It was just last night when I am totally won over that I was such a useless person. I am no use, and I am a loser. I should have been inspired to what our national hero Dr. Jose Rizal has said about me being one of the world’s future saviors. Well, in the idea of being the superwoman or Spiderwoman, the world’s greatest savior, I need to have a super power like those super heroes in our old time in order for me to save the world. I do not need to go to school to study and wait for so many years before I can contribute something. These thoughts of being one of them strike me a hundred times. I am not really a superhero. I do not have these super powers. I can not transform into someone who will be their knight in shining armor. There is nothing special in me. What Dr. Rizal trying to point out was my ability to do something in my own way. And the only power that I have is the knowledge.
Way back my first years in this college, I just keep on watching my classmates shifting to another course or transferring to another schools. I knew I can’t help them. Maybe they were just weak. But, this scheme and the reality struck me. Many of my co-students who were enrolled IT surrendered by now. Most of them were my friends. I thought of quitting so many times. Perhaps, I need to do what they did. I felt that I do not belong in this institution. It is giving me no air to the point that it makes me hard to breathe. It makes me feel to give up. And like them, it also makes me pathetic.
I never thought that I could go this far. I was already fed up. I have this feeling that I was on a dead end and there is no turning back. What else can I do? It was then I realize that I made a pledge that I won’t let anyone stop me from moving forward. Proceeding is the least option and the last thing on my mind. But here I am, alive and still surviving.
Kidding aside, I still have this dream of working in a place where I can make use of my bachelors’ degree and I know I can do it. Maybe I just need more time to carry it out. How much time do I need to have? I must be kidding my self. They say that a dream without a deadline is a goal. I should be making plans now. But where would I start? I have to accomplish it ten years from now. I have to plan now. I remember last time when I have my report in one of our subjects. I am task to put into details every article that is related to strategic planning. From there I learned that it is a process into which a person tries to answer questions about the future.
So, I asked God for a pause before I proceed. I need to rest my mind and my heart form worrying. I am living a life full of ups and down. Why is it that I need to stand up when I am down and I need to stand up straight again after I am losing my sense and good judgment from falling. I need to take a rest and continue deciding tomorrow.
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At this time, I just get up from my bed. I am done thinking. I have now lots of ideas coming from my mind. It is just a one way process. Perhaps, I should start deciding whether I should take the straight way or go walk on a highway full of detours. If I will walk on a straight way, it is like going to the world with my dreams still remain as a dream. Living forever in a paradise earth is not just a dream. It is our loving creator purpose and what we need to do is just realize it. If I will do some detours it is like I am in the world with the reality, a world where I am making new plans in order for me to make the reality come true. I want to be name as an IT professional. Everybody does. Most failures start from plan failures. This point cannot too often be repeated. Some of would only realize if they had done a biggest mistake is when failure come. Planning for good future seems more likely to survive and prosper if people enter them with relatively full knowledge. Yes, getting to know our inner selves is essential. We need to know our strength and weaknesses and what should be the possible threats we need to face. Yes, drawing up the intentions of the heart of our own self takes effort and discernment. So we must plan a better approach or a line of attack to help us see our inner self.
Day to day of my life, I maybe confronted with terrible experiences, like; act of unkindness, criticism deceit, disloyalty, nastiness and spitefulness…cost against these realities, how would I stand and shape my future. With the many years I spend in this university is more than enough for me to sort it out what to have, so I will become victorious. As I go into the real world, I must always remember the lessons and knowledge and the value that were installed by my professors, the kind of knowledge that would help me in shaping my future in line of business.
And when the moment in time comes that God will not forbid me from being called as an IT professional, I must have a purpose in life. If I have no goal to live, I will find that life is empty. Being an IT professional is like changing to another paradigm, a broader horizon of challenges to test the strength of my desire to pursue higher objective in life. I have to aim high and be confident and have self-reliance in doing it, and couple it with interest and strong determination. In the world of an IT professional, I will be entering into another world of problems, but it is also a world of many challenges and opportunities that makes life worth living.
One of the best ways to win any game is to write the rules. And it should be done one step at a time. Before going to the place where I can put into practice the degree I have, I should know the basics. Basics not in terms of knowledge I did learn from school but in terms of professionalism. I should learn how to be responsible for anything I am planning to do. Peoples have different ways of making decisions. Some delays making a decision in the hope that the situation will resolve itself. But as to become a professional, I should also learn to consider and allow the views and opinions of others before making a decision. On the other hand, since I am still in the process of blooming and boosting my professionalism in the pursue of my career I should look at a decision that must be made, considering the options, choosing a plan of action, and taking responsibility for whatever the outcome. Making decision gives me a greater degree of control over the problem situation being addressed.
I need to know as early as now that in a real scenario making plans and decisions are not just like as if you are flipping a coin, playing a deck of cards that there will just two possible outcomes, either failure or success. If that what life is, it is a no sweat process and there can be no complexities.
Imagining my self in a place where I can practice my skills in information technology, I would rather not breathe for I know that I can’t easily turn back. I should learn how to be professional for in that kind of profession there are always no rooms for mistakes. I am expected to act in the course of the work according to certain rules of conduct and standard of behavior. I will be required to have power over a large body of knowledge from my extensive academic study during my school days specifically my college years. That is why as early as now I am in the process of improving my personality. I know that it will be a hard part for me for I need to have a power to be a cultured human. I usually let my heart rule my mind and that makes me more fragile. But I must change my insights in life. I must not let my heart rule my mind. In narrower sense, I need to be strong.
I have to train my self with the aim of bettering my performance as an individual not just in the field of my expertise but also in the course of life. I also need to enhance my self-consciousness practicality and freedom of expression that will serve as an aid in my independent learning. I am ought not to limit my self in learning.
Removing distractions and improving concentrations can also be one of the most important things I need to enhance. Having the aura of being a cheerful person, I am the one who ought to bring the crowd a joyful atmosphere. Even I am sometimes (defensive???) fanatical or foolish I can never lose control when it comes to learning. Learning is a process you do, not a process that is done to you. Education is an increasingly influential factor in employment. It is a lifelong process. It needs full time attention.
So before going to the place where I can be called as an IT professional, I would rather risk everything I have in order for me to attain what is needed to reach. Go power. Hehehe… Very directly, the need for a purposive transformation is a must for it will be the start to the development of one self.
This is the time of my life that I start to assume adult responsibilities. This is just the beginning to a serious employment and hard work with dedication in order to reach the goal of success. There are countless factors that make one successful, but I feel certain that I have been trained and prepared with the knowledge and skills necessary for involvement in the quest for better life.
